My thoughts are really scattered this morning, so please be patient with me *goes into rambling mode*
I realize that it’s been quite some time that has passed since I last posted my thoughts. I have just been going through some things as of late; and even in saying that, it hasn’t been anything that serious. I have just been taking my time and really analyzing things in my life. As I posted once before, this is the time of year that I usually take inventory and analyze where it is that I am at in my life and where it is that I am trying to be. Taking a critical look at various elements of my life from relationships/friendships that I have to things that I am doing to achieve any goals I have set for myself. We must do that from time to time. While it’s true that we should just throw caution to wind and take some risks in this life, we must also be cognizant of how our actions may impact those that are around us. For instance, any decisions that I make I must take into account how it will affect my relationship with my children; the types of people and things that I expose them to; the language and tone that I use around them. I also have to be careful of the company that I keep for myself. Are these people making positive contributions to my life? Are these people that I can rely on or depend on in the clutch? Are they true supporters or saboteurs?
I’m telling you, I been looking at things from a totally different perspective as of late. I am beginning to realize that people are not as “real” as they say they are, nor are they as supportive as they claim to be. People say and do things out of conveinence; because it seems like the “right thing to say or do”. Even I have found myself flirting with that line. We do these things because we don’t want to offend people or try to spare their feelings. I’m learning to be a little more candid and blunt with people. You see, I’ve been an appeaser for quite some time now. Trying to be there for everyone, taking on peoples struggles and issues, only to feel hollow when they are seemingly fine again. My mistake was thinking that maybe, just maybe, people would do the same thing for me when I really needed it. I say it was a mistake because it went against one of my core principles and that’s never do anything for anybody and expect to receive anything back.
I wrote about this before, we cannot give people something that we do not possess for ourselves. We cannot continue to spread ourselves to thin; for what do we have left when we have exhausted all of our resources? Prime example is this holiday season. We all out here scrambling and stressing ourselves out to get people gifts and presents, spending up money that we don’t really have, all in the name of what? Then time passes and we looking at our bills and it’s like we get stressed out all over again. Vicious cycle it is. That’s why next year, I am learning to say no. Won’t be no gifts and presents for anybody over the age of 10. That goes for any “holiday”. If I got it, I’ll get it, if not, oh well. I’m trying to make some moves next year. Trying to manage my debts, move my children into my house and prepare for my fiancee to move in as well. Those are my primary goals for next year and I tend to make them happen. If it doesn’t fall in line with my goals, I can’t mess with it.
*whew* Anyway, like I said, my thoughts were all over the place this morning. I still have some things to get off my chest, but I need to get back to work. I’d like to close with this: I appreciate those of you who have been sincerely supportive of the things that I have been doing in my life. Although I have been somewhat distant and unreachable, doesn’t change the fact that we still cool. I’m just prioritizing things in my life and taking realistic steps to achieving my goals. Life is too short and I am far too blessed to be stressed. The things that I have said in this post wasn’t a personal stab at anybody, it’s just things that I have witnessed and felt for quite some time. It’s like when you are sitting in church and the preacher gets up in the pulpit and delivers their sermon and something they say makes you feel like they are talking directly to you. Well, I’m no Creflo Dollar, I just deliver what is in my heart and mind, right or wrong, it’s just what I’m feeling at the time……
One last thing, please continue to subscribe, support and share this site on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I would really appreciate the look. Trying to get some things started and get people to thinking and talking. It’s time for a evolution of thought and an elevation of self and how we fit into the grand design of the universe. Whether you agree or disagree with the material I present; whether you can gain some insight or not, I just ask that you get the word out there, but then again if you are a saboteur rather than a supporter, why would you?
I’ll still luv ya tomorrow…..