Boundaries


“Anybody who doesn’t respect the boundaries of one’s relationship is no friend in my book.”

~ Anon

First and foremost, Happy New Year everybody.  It’s been a couple of weeks since I last posted my thoughts.  My last blog of 2010 was indicative of how my life was feeling at the time; scattered, covered and chunked (just had a Waffle House moment).  Anyway, the last few months of 2010 were rather revealing.  I learned some pretty interesting things about myself and others, especially after I made a few changes in my life.  It made me take a serious step back and analyze exactly where I was at and what I was actually doing.  While I am confident that things will be just fine, I do find myself in a rather strange zone.  Strange in the sense that some things are not always as they appear.

You see, there are things that are going on around us that we fail to recognize; lines are being crossed, boundaries are being violated.  We, as a people, have become mute, tone deaf and tunnel visioned even; stuck in our own ideological rhetoric, missing some very vital signs and points.  Okay, maybe not we the people, maybe it’s just me that feels this way.  Maybe I’ve become mute about some of the things that are going on because I don’t want to be involved with other people’s drama.  Maybe I have withdrawn myself and closed my ears because it was becoming overwhelmed; taking on other folks energy and issues and internalizing them.  Maybe the world around me just became less interesting to view or I began to recognize the ugly truth about things and seen them for what they really are:  People don’t really care as much as they say they do; they will tolerate you or rock with you just as long as they are getting what they want. The minute you no longer provide them with what it is that they seek, they disappear on you, leaving you to have to deal with the aftermath of their actions (holy shit I just had a revelation…. did I really make people feel that way?)

Such is life though.  As the world turns things are subject to change, none of us are impervious or immune to this truth.  We are all on the same boat, but residing on different tiers.  I mentioned earlier that lines are being crossed and boundaries are being violated.  People have their own ulterior motives and don’t necessarily have your best interests in my mind.  Whether or not we are fully cognizant of how our actions are impacting others, we must be responsible for how things play out to a certain extent.  What might have once been something innocent can turn out to be very detrimental to any existing relationships that you have.  You have to be willing to recognize when enough is enough and take the necessary steps to rectify things.  It’s all about respect, not just for external parties but ultimately for self.  At some point we must draw the line, establish certain boundaries and enforce them at all costs.  Even if that means terminating certain associations or, at the very least, redefining the nature of those relationships.

Understand this, and I know I’ve said this at least once before, people are going to feel a way regardless of what it is that you do or how you try to present things.  Something as simple as “unfriending” or “unfollowing” individuals can cause for unintentional damage and harm.  It’s not that the person doesn’t like you or whatever, maybe they just want to be less visible or whatever [or it could be a sign that you’re annoying as hell and nobody wants to hear about every minute detail of your life *kanye shrug*].  Has it become that serious that the value or breadth of a relationship is determined by whether or not an individual appears on your friend’s list??  I thought that there was an expectation of privacy in this world?  Oh well….  *random thought*

Anyhow, people have their own set of preconceived notions of how the universe operates and there isn’t much you can do to affect those things that they have accepted as the truth.  Many of us have to live it out and experience things for ourselves before we can gain a better understanding of what is truly going on.  However, even when the truth is right in plain sight, it is still rejected because they cannot reason with themselves.  It’s the height of insanity in my opinion.  I mean, it is what it is people: Acknowledge, Accept and Apply or Adapt.  Begin with self and things will soon spread.  As they say, the truth shall set you free.

So here’s to 2011, may this next one be your best one.  Do what it is that you need to do, but also remember to respect yourself and the boundaries of those that are around you.  You have to develop the ability to see things from a perspective that is different from your own.  Not saying that you should walk on egg shells, nor allow others to dictate how you live your life, but just become aware of the “how it may look”.  Your intentions may be well-meaning but perception is a whole other animal.  And lastly, keep your friends close and your enemies even closer; it’ll amaze you who is really who.

I’ll still luv ya tomorrow……

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Got The Sweater and The Hat….. « Being Bone

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