What’s The Meaning Of It All: My Life in Perspective


“Success in highest and noblest form calls for peace of mind and enjoyment and happiness which comes only to the man who has found the work he likes best.” ~ Napoleon Hill

You ever sit around some days and get the feeling that something isn’t right?  Almost like something is missing in your life?  You wake up, go through the daily grind and feel empty at the end of it?  You have a seemingly picture perfect life; house, cars, spouse, children, job earning decent wages, etc.  Yet, there is still that feeling like there should be more or that somehow you feel inadequate.  Is it a lack of gratitude and appreciation for what you have?  Or could it be these things that you do have, no matter how much gratitude you may have for them, just aren’t what your soul requires or desires to possess?

Every day hundreds, even thousands of people wake up with this same empty feeling; like they aren’t living a full and satisfying life.  Some individuals just shrug it off and chalk it up as being a part of life or use the term “it is what it is” (which in my opinion is one of the most overused and grossly misused phrases in the English lexicon).  Is it really that way?  Or are people too complacent or lack the courage to figure things out?  These are questions that I ask myself on a continuing basis.  Do I possess the courage to keep pushing on?  Am I living a full life?  Am I doing everything within my arsenal to achieve what it is that my soul requires?  Do I even know what my soul requires?  That last question is one that I have been stuck on for quite some time now.  I’ll come back to that one though.

For the most part, I live a rather fortunate life.  I’m 30 years old; I own my own home, have a working vehicle, two handsome, fun-loving little boys.  Despite going through a divorce recently, I still managed to find someone with whom I am very compatible and is willing to take steps towards building a meaningful life with.  Career wise, I’m in rather decent position making a modest salary.  I’m in a decent state of health (could lose a couple around the belly).  I have a very supportive family, some pretty decent friends (some of you are questionable though, hahaha).  On the surface life is pretty darn good.  I don’t have much to complain about.  I have more things than some other people are able to achieve; doesn’t make me any better than anyone though.  I am very grateful for where I am in life.  So with all these things and all these people, you would think that I’d live a pretty sound existence, but I don’t.

You see, for a long time, I’ve waged war on my very being.  People have called me crazy; they say that I torture myself with all these thoughts; that I am doing too much, that I should just relax and not worry so much.  Truth is I don’t worry as much as people think that I do.  The fact is I refuse to settle for anything less than what I am worth.  For some reason I’m not satisfied with mediocrity, nor should anyone living (in my opinion of course).   I have this insatiable desire for more; an ongoing quest for something higher.  What that higher thing is, I have no idea.  Maybe it’s nothing at all.  Maybe I’m a little schizophrenic or suffer from some other type of mental illness.  I don’t know.  All I know is that something inside of me won’t allow me to rest.

Through my writing, I hope that I am able to find out exactly what that higher order need is.  That maybe somehow through these words, not only can I find some resolve, but maybe I will be able to assist someone else in seeking their higher purpose.  I honestly believe that we all have a higher purpose; that we are all here for a more divine purpose.  There has to be more to this existence than to just acquire material goods or to see who can accumulate the most money or who can have the most friends.  It’s much more than that.  I honestly don’t believe that it’s something that should be sought externally either.  That’s why I believe this ongoing struggle exists.  The things that we do in our natural lives may be totally against what the spirit desires.  We spend so much time worrying about our physical appearances, but fail to nurture the essence of our beings, our soul.  This is nothing but a temporary shell.  Our soul energy, our life force, moves beyond this realm.  We are pure energy and it’s an energy that can never be destroyed, it merely transforms.  What it transforms into?  That I don’t know.  My belief is that it transforms into anything it requires itself to experience.

But then again, maybe it’s nothing at all.  Maybe when we close our eyes it becomes absolute nothingness.  We cease to exist.  No white lights, no warm temperatures, no feelings, just oblivion.  We may never know what it is on this level; we can only speculate or have faith and believe that there is something beyond all this, whatever it is.  But in the time that we have, we can choose how we live.  We can spend our days worrying and being in a perpetual state of despair or we can choose to truly live.  Explore and nurture our mental and spiritual beings.  Unlock the mysteries of our very existence.  We can achieve these things through meditation, deep breathing techniques, prayer, etc.  Whatever you can do to quiet the mind and become one with the moment is the key to it all.  This is something that I am trying to learn to do on my own.  Not a simple process for a person whose mind is always racing.  But I remember one time when I was able to achieve what I can only describe as peace of mind; a total state of relaxation.  It was when I was on a business trip in Hawaii.  The sun had set, the waves were crashing, and the breeze was light.  It was just nature and me.  No thoughts, no internet, no TV, no music; just the rhythms of the landscape, my breathing, the moonlight, the water.  It’s funny, I used to always say crazy stuff about all those relaxation tapes and wondered why they had the sounds of the ocean or raindrops falling, waterfalls cascading.  All of these things have a great calming effect, but nothing beats being in the middle of nature.

So, how do you plan on living your life?  What really matters to you?  Let’s think beyond the physical and material worlds in which we find a false sense of comfort and security.  Let us all get in touch with our inner being and explore that higher plane.  However you get there, I won’t knock at all.  Not every technique is meant for everybody.  To me, all that matters is getting there, finding that peace.  Cause as long as you can attain peace and mastered yourself, there is nothing on this level that you cannot achieve.  Be blessed, be you and to thine own self be true.

I’ll still luv ya tomorrow……

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