“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.” ~ Paulo Coelho
So I follow Felonious Munk on Twitter. If you haven’t heard any of his material I suggest you YouTube him and listen to his series “Stop It B”. You’ll either like it or love it, but that’s a matter of your own opinion. Anyway, he tweeted something that made me revisit a conversation that I had with a friend of mine a while back. The conversation was about judging or passing judgment or something to that effect. What I was telling my friend was that we should never judge anybody; that we are in no position to judge or pass judgment upon anybody. But my friend was insistent with their position that we judge people and situations every day and that there is no way around it. This brings me back to the message that was tweeted. He had tweeted the definition of judge and right then my brain just went into hyperdrive….
From Merriam-Webster dictionary:
1judge verb \ˈjəj\
1 : to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises
3 : to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation
5 : to form an estimate or evaluation of; especially : to form a negative opinion about <shouldn’t judge him because of his accent>
First Known Use: 13th century
Damn Bone, did you really have to post the definition of judge here? Yeah, I actually did because when you are trying to make a point it’s always a good thing to have exhibits to support your position rather than just saying things for the sake of saying them. I mean I always hear people saying things like “only God can judge me”, yet they always weighing in on how another person should be living their lives and quite frankly they don’t live their own lives in consistence with only holy doctrine that I know of, but I digress…. Now based on the dictionary definition of judge, anytime a person opens their mouth up to weigh in on something or gives their own opinion on a matter, they are in fact judging that topic or if it’s a person that they are speaking of, they are judging that person. Like I said, I had revisited that conversation in my mind and have come to a new conclusion that there is no way around judging anything. Judgments are what allow us to make informed decisions on whether or not we should proceed down a particular path. When we make a judgment, this can usually be rescinded or changed at a later time especially if new evidence is presented to prove said judgment true or false.
So let’s visit the whole idea of passing judgment. When people pass judgment, they are usually very critical of the subject that they are judging and usually that opinion or judgment will more than likely never change regardless of any evidence that is presented to prove or disprove the validity of a decision. With that said, I’m not one to determine whether anything or anyone is right or wrong. I usually base my opinions on my own experience with certain situations, but as I look back I can see how flawed this thinking can be because I’m not taking other factors into consideration when I weigh in on things. We have to be able to look at things objectively rather than subjectively if fairness and impartiality are what we strive for. For those that don’t know the difference between the two, to look at things objectively one would base things off of concrete evidence, something that they can see or hold; whereas when things are looked upon subjectively, they are subjected to any number of factors that can range from facts to emotions.
Like I always, you can never be fully aware of what led a person to think they way they think or do the things that they do. Unless you are in that person’s shoes, you will never really know what’s going on. It’s a smart guess at best, especially if it’s a situation that where there are only a few options. It’s all a gamble, either you get it or you don’t. There may be people that get it right more often than others, but that doesn’t mean that they are any better. If you follow my blogs regularly you’ll see that I don’t ever claim to know it all, I just happen to get lucky; I just happen to be able to say things that people can relate to. None of that makes me a better person though. I make my mistakes, miscalculate moves, misinterpret messages, etc. I’m a mere mortal among man endowed with certain unalienable rights, among those being able to speak my mind and pursue a happy life.
So when you hear someone say something like, “you’re being judgmental” or “don’t judge me”, what they are really trying to say is “please don’t have a negative opinion about the way I choose to do the things that I do or who I am as a person”. Again, I’ll never pass judgment upon anybody because I don’t as if I am in a position to do so. However, I do reserve the right to make a judgment on whether or not I decide to carry on a conversation with a person or to proceed down a certain course. If there is ever anything that occurs that changes my opinion of a matter then I am entitled to reverse my decision, much like how many verdicts are overturned in court in light of new evidence or a new argument. I know I have said these things before in previous blogs, but I just like to remain consistent and truthful whenever I speak.
Anyway, I’m done talking my s*** this morning. But before I go I want to issue a challenge to those who are reading this: Next time someone tells you their situation and asks for your opinion, give them two. With that first one try to give it without putting your own emotions and thoughts into it; try to look at things solely from that person’s perspective and the situation that they are in. The second one, well, the second one shouldn’t even be needed unless they ask what YOU would do. I can go in a whole lot more, but I’m going to reserve any extra commentary for another day. Matter of fact, as I am closing this one out, another idea has popped in my brain… Oh the beautiful mind of Bone…
I’ll still luv ya tomorrow….