The only thing that annoys me more than people who only hit me when they need something is the fake conversation before they ask. -Unknown
When you tell a person that you are going to do something or be a certain way, usually that person is going to expect for you to make good on whatever you promised or whatever you stated. Why shouldn’t they? Wouldn’t you expect the same in return? You want for someone to trust that you are a person of virtue, trustworthy, reliable, etc. Now I’m not going to sit here and act like I’ve always done what I said I would I do because then I’d be a liar.
I’d respect a person more if they were just honest with me. If you are unable to do something, just tell me. Don’t tell me “oh I got you, whatever you need” as if you’re doing me a favor. I’ve found that people say things only because it feels like the right thing to do. I started writing about this in a previous blog sometime last summer; people that say things like “I’m here for you”. Again, the intention may be well meaning but when the time comes where are these people?
Now granted, I understand that we all have our lives to live. Things happen, situations change, okay I get it. I remember times when I told people that I would take care of things and put whatever it is that I was doing on hold to get it done; almost to the point where I put certain relationships with friends and family members in jeopardy. That’s how I was at times, loyal to a fault. I look back now and wonder, would these people have really put themselves out there like that for me?
There have also been times where I made promises that I knew I couldn’t keep. Rather than let the person know upfront, I would just procrastinate or totally neglect whatever it was that I promised. I never thought anything of it. But do you understand what that does to a person? When you say you are going to do something and you don’t do it? It causes that person to lose trust in you. You are now seen as someone who is unreliable.
It’s reasonable for me to have expectations based on what somebody I trust has committed to. And it’s natural for me to feel disappointed when that somebody doesn’t come through. But when I feel more than disappointment, when I also feel anger, it’s because I deviated from my truth. It’s because I compromised my truth to get what somebody else promised. – Jan Denise
Nobody wants to be labeled as the person that cannot be trusted. Some people can’t help it, while others just don’t care either way. I mean it’s not like someone has created this image or expectation of you out of the blue, they are basing things off of what you tell them, well at least in this case. It’s been said that you should take people at face value but what if that person has two faces?
I learned that it’s best to just be upfront. If you cannot fully commit to something then don’t do it. If you did commit yourself, then follow through. If you told someone that you’d call, call. If you tell someone that you’ll stop by, then stop by. If you are unable to call or unable to make it, then tell the person. They will surely understand. I know I would appreciate it.
Don’t have me sitting around waiting for you to come by and you don’t show up. Nobody wants to have their time wasted. If you got other things going on, just let the person know. If you fail to do that much then you can’t be upset if a person doesn’t take your calls or reach out to you. The onus is not on that person to contact you if you are the one that said that you would call or do something for them. The onus is not on that person to remind you of anything either. If a person has to remind you to do something that you said you would do then obviously it wasn’t really something that you wanted to do.
I thank my wife for helping me to see things clearer and for keeping me honest. She has helped me to see the err in my own behavior. Holding me responsible for things and making sure that I follow through. I’m not all the way there yet, but I’m getting there. All in due time.
I’ll still luv ya tomorrow….