Happy Birthday

Dear Father,

This is will be the very last time that I mention you in any one of my posts. To be honest, I don’t know why I bother to mention you at all. It’s not like the feeling is mutual. But I guess I’ll never know the truth of the matter because we have never spoke, never shared any meaningful time together, nor does it look as if we ever will. The only picture I have of you is holding me at my 1st birthday. I looked happy but what 1 year old isn’t happy to have a face full of cake?

Whatever the reason that I haven’t heard from you throughout the years matters not. I have finally decided that I will no longer dwell on things that I have no control over. For years I have wondered what it would be like to bump into you; do we look alike? Do we act alike? In a way your very existence, or lack thereof, has tortured my mind and spirit. There are times that I look in the mirror and wonder to myself, does he think about me as much as I think about him?

Well, I no longer have to wonder about these things because I officially no longer care. Your life is probably just fine, I know that mine is. Maybe it’s for the best that we never met. Anyway, I thought I’d tell you Happy Birthday for the first and last time….

– Jimmy



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